The Secret to Writing Romantic Relationships
My best kept secrets about writing a memorable romance plot
Everybody loves a love story. Adding romance to your novel is a popular choice among authors, whether you are writing a straight-up romance novel or a romantic subplot to a science fiction or fantasy novel. If you’re trying to write a book that readers can’t put down, adding romance to your novel can elevate your story by adding another layer of conflict and tension for the characters that adds a new dimension to your story. Writing two characters who fall in love can help you hook more readers. Romance novels make up 40% of the popular-fiction market. The ever-growing list of romance tropes shows how dedicated readers are to supporting romance genres. However, adding romance for the sake of it isn’t always a smart choice. It must fit naturally into your novel. A romance that isn’t believable can fall on its face and drive away readers.
In this post, we are going to talk about my best tips for writing a romance. I am going to give you four key areas to consider while adding romance to your story that will help you write a believable relationship between your characters. A novel missing these elements runs the risk of disappointing readers by detracting from your novel’s theme and undermining the overarching plot. Romances like this feel like the love was thrown in at the last second rather than being an integral part of the story. A romantic relationship between two characters should feel natural within the scope of your story.
The difference between a romantic subplot and a romance novel is the focus of the external plot. In the romance genre, the love story is so integral to the plot that the book would fall flat without it. However, in recent years, there’s been a rise of books with a mix of genres including romantasy, romance science fiction, and more. It’s even more important in these cases that the romance be seamless to advancing the story by balancing genre conventions.
A seamless romance should be believable, but that doesn’t always mean realistic. As seen in popular fantasy novels, a fated mate is not always the most realistic plot line. However, it can do wonders for a story if executed well. Convincing your reader to suspend disbelief requires paying off on the promise you make at the beginning of the story. This means taking stock of the elements available to you at the beginning of your novel. Tying your romance in to the stakes or the problem that your protagonist faces that leads to their key choices will make it feel more satisfying to your reader. As we talk about a lot on this blog, the key is making the small moments in your story matter. By doing things on purpose, your story makes more sense. The reader is looking for meaning. Give it to them on a silver platter, you will meet and sometimes even exceed reader expectations.
Alright, enough with the big picture, let’s get into the gritty details on how to pull of a believable romance in your manuscript. After you finish reading this blog post, I am sure that you will be able to write romance with confidence. As an editor, these are the writing tips I recommend based on the romance stories I edit:
How badly does your Protagonist want to be with their Love Interest?
Each of these questions exist on a spectrum as pictured above. For the purposes of this criteria, I am looking at your protagonist’s desire to be in relationship with their love interest as it applies to their world.
At one end, your protagonist wants to be with their love interest more than anything.
At the other end, your protagonist would do anything to not be with their love interest.
The middle marks a point of indifference where your protagonist couldn’t care either way. Sometimes this is where a romantic relationship starts in a novel where the two characters are strangers. In others, they begin as enemies at odds with each other and in some they are already in love when your reader meets them. The state of your love story at the beginning of your story is wholly dependent on the context of your novel. However, as your story progresses, your protagonist’s desire to be with their love interest will fluctuate. Moving along this spectrum gives your reader something to anticipate as they begin to wonder if your couple will end up together. This doesn't have to end in a long-term relationship as this value will change as your story progresses.
Now, knowing where your protagonist stands is just one piece of the equation. You also should consider where their love interest is on this continuum. Sometimes your couple might be at odds with each other. Sometimes they are aligned, but playing with these values within your story can produce memorable results for your reader’s experience.
Whether your romantic couple wants to be in relationship with each other is an important factor to consider when writing a romance because it stimulates the experience of excitement in your reader. Influencing emotions in your reader is a goal of all writers and key to writing an unforgettable novel. When it comes to romance, your reader lives vicariously through your protagonist’s experience of love. In this case of the “will they won’t they,” the relationship drives the readers desire to see what will happen between your characters. Their heart will flutter when your protagonist’s does. Writing a romance that plays on how much the characters want each other literally creates the experience of excitement in the reader. Using tools like sexual tension, physical attraction, intimacy and vulnerability help create this feeling. Mastering this is the key to writing books that readers find memorable and recommend to all of their friends.
2. How open is your protagonist with their love interest?
Real relationships are built on a trust, which requires opening up your inner world to another human being little by little. This criteria refers to how much your love interest sees of the protagonist’s inner world. Remember, the reader is privy to a certain amount of the protagonist's world themselves. Thus, they are able to tell how much your protagonist is holding back from their love interest.
Characters that have a deep relationship reveal their whole self to the other person, who despite their flaws, still loves them in return. They share their vulnerabilities, their fears, their hopes and their dreams. In comparison to other characters, your love interest should grow to know your protagonist on a deeper level. This gives the reader the sense of intimacy as the characters fall in love.
One tip for nailing this in your story is to demonstrate how open your protagonist is with other characters that are not their love interest. This gives the reader a bench mark regarding the level of vulnerability they can expect to see from the protagonist. If your protagonist is more open with the other relationships in their lives, but not with their love interest, it could indicate that they are having a hard time trusting for whatever reason. Playing with the amount of vulnerability expressed by your characters can lead to lots of exciting twists for your reader as they begin to anticipate the emotional payoff of your protagonist and love interest becoming more or less open with each other.
3. How strong are the forces stopping your protagonist and their love interest from being together?
Now, let’s look at what is keeping your protagonist and their love interest from being together. Different than the first criteria, here we are talking about the external forces that want to keep your protagonist and your love interest apart. Conflict is the key in creating a sense of curiosity in your reader as they wonder how a situation will play out. In a romance plot line, this comes down to the things in your characters’ lives that are pushing them away from being happy together. Give your characters a choice. The result of that choice will tell us who they are as people and what they value. Use this throughout your novel and you will be well on your way to creating characters that hook readers.
Conflict also pushes the reader to keep flipping pages because they want to know if your love interest and the protagonist will be happy together. Generally, your goal is to position your forces of antagonism to be stronger than your couple. This puts the reader in a situation where they will truly wonder how it could all work out.
Stories are about people changing. If things were easy, your protagonist wouldn't have to change. They need obstacles standing in their way in order to embark upon their life-changing journey. If romance is a key element of the lesson that they learn, it cannot come easily to them. Obstacles are the key to character growth. These forces of antagonism act to provide this push and pull dynamic within your novel.
4. How high are the stakes if the relationship doesn’t work out?
Romance was once described as putting a gun in the hands of another person and trusting them not to pull the trigger. The same is true of your protagonist and their love interest. If the romance doesn’t end with a happily ever after, what will the consequences be for your protagonist? In other words, the other person should have a hold over them that would result in something happening if they broke up.
This introduces stakes to your romance. The reader needs to understand that this relationship has the power to have life-changing impacts on your protagonist. There will be a time before this romance and a time after. The protagonist is forever changed by the introduction of this their lives. This principle creates romantic tension within your character’s relationship.
Think of your favorite romance plot in a novel. What are the stakes in regards to the relationship? What do both characters stand to lose if it doesn’t work out?
Don’t Misuse your Romance Plot
These four principles will help guide you when examining the romance plot in your novel. By pushing your protagonist and their love interest along these continuum, you will create a romance that entices readers to keep flipping pages. Before I end this post, I wanted to hit on a few other keys of writing a believable romance.
Every relationship should feel natural within the scope of your story. This means that it should add to the overall narrative rather than detract from it. If the romance becomes a distraction from the main plot, it can make your readers wonder how the big picture comes together. Focus on writing relatable characters with real problems to create tension.
Let's talk about some more things to avoid. Be careful not to perpetuate abusive relationships. Readers love conflict. They crave a messy story, but this does not equate to letting your characters run free and portray problematic story lines. Now, abuse can be powerful in stories if you are doing it on purpose. When you portray control as romantic outside of this context it can have dangerous implications. Unless you are going this route intentionally, I recommend focusing on healthy relationships for your main characters. Healthy doesn’t have to mean uncomplicated. There can still be longing, mistrust, confusion and all of the qualities of a relationship that make it feel complete, not one-dimensional.
This subplot and genre has a huge place in literature with many devout romance readers. I often wonder why that is the case. Compared to some of the other subplots, romance seems to dominate the minds and imaginations of readers. A good romance hooks your reader based on the emotional promise made by the writer. Much of this comes down to emotion, since invoking a feeling in your reader is one of the most impactful things you can do as a writer. This is how you change not only your protagonist, but those who pick up your book too.
The give and pull of a compelling romance is powerful. By using your protagonist's vulnerabilities, you can play with the amount of openness and intimacy created between them and their love interest. Conflict provides necessary tension to keep readers flipping pages to find out what happens. In addition, just like anything else we talk about here on the blog, romance must have a purpose with in your story. Meaning is essential to captivating and hooking your readers. Following these simple steps will help you along your romance writing journey and help readers connect with your characters.
That’s all for now! For more writing tips and tricks, feel free to reach out to me or learn more on my instagram below:
